Posted: October 3, 2014 1:12pm

 So today is installment two of our Hallstead Harridan , Verity , I hope you like it !

Verity was relaxing in the sun on a lovely Wednesday afternoon, there was a fantastic buzz in the community as the school’s first competitive football match was set to take place the coming weekend– having previously been married to a top Premiership footballer, who shall remain unnamed, Verity had a huge passion for… winning.

So as she unwound, young Jonty toiled “come on Jonty, I want to see 50 kick-ups this time” barked the drill-sergeant-esque football coach she had hired, “but Mummy my legs hurt I can’t do any more kick ups today, I don’t even want to play football, Kyle’s mother says that football is for brutes OUCH!” Jonty yelped, his coach – Coach Conroy – booted the ball rather firmly into his midsection “don’t bother your mother – keep kicking – kick – kick – kick – kick KICK!” he shouted.

“Listen to your coach Jonty – of course Kyle’s mother would say that, have you seen what Kyle’s father does He works in a bank! A banker! In this day! Ha.

You know he was egged on the way to work the other day by protesters, is that what you want to grow up to be? A sad little man who works in an office and is hated by the country? OR do you want to be David Beckham?

Now come on Jonty, you can do 50 more kick ups”. Reluctantly, and in a fair bit of pain, Jonty continued doing kick-ups, his mothers strong words reverberating in his head – “that’s it boy – 47, 48, 49… 50! YOU DID IT!”

Coach Conroy was jubilant! “We’ll have you playing at Wembley in no time!”.

Jonty practically collapsed, and Verity looked on with a smile of devilish glee – she didn’t care about Wembley, she just couldn’t wait to be the mother of the school’s best footballer, oh how the other mothers will envy her – “I bet Kyle’s rubbish at football” she thought.


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