In the second in our series Susie Wesson from The Hall School talked to me about resilience and self esteem. One of the many worries present at the school gates is the pressure our children seem to be under and the constant striving to achieve. However no one is good at everything and we all deal with small and large disappointments so how can we teach our children to thrive.

1. Listen

Give them time to tell you what they want to say, don’t pump them for what you want to hear. Time and actually hearing what they ensures they know they have a voice and that their opinion is valued. (This doesn’t mean that their voice dictates what happens but that you have listened to their opinion).

2. Help them be independent

The earlier you encourage them to be independent in all things the stronger their self esteem. As a reception teacher she sees the pride for the children who can put the straw in a juice carton, hang up their coats or even do buttons. Small things but they really help their self esteem and lead to better development.

3. Communicate

Let children know what is happening. Who is collection them, what activity they might have after school or in the coming weekend. The more pre spared they  are (however small) the safer and more secure they feel. Research shows secure children are more likely to try new things and  have less of a fear of failure.

4. Let them lose

Playing games with your children is still important and as painful as it can be you are doing them a disservice is you don’t let them lose. Children who lose at board games learn resilience early on. Dealing with small challenges early helps them cope with larger ones later. Whether it is  not getting in to the school team, failing an exam  or  not being given an interview at the school their friends are going to  reacting well to settle backs is one of the greatest life skills you can give your child and simple things at the beginning according to this mother of two can make all the difference.