Posted: October 17, 2014 9:06am


Despite Jonty’s wails of disapproval, and oh how Jonty could wail, Verity decided that he would be going ahead with her gauntlet of after-school activities, with obvious choices like tennis and swimming strictly banned – Jonty was in for the adventure of his life!! Or so she told him.

MONDAY – Mandarin with Dr Xio Guo – Professor at SOAS

“Jonty, repeat after me ‘Nǐ hǎo, wǒ de míng zì shì’, no not ‘Nǐ hǎo, wǒ DI míng zì shì’”

TUESDAY – Capoiera with Ruiz Alonso –Brazilian Capoeira champion 2014

“Spin on your head! Now, keep your balance, spin your left leg around like a helicopter! Fantastic – we have lift off!!!” *THUD*

WEDNESDAY – Coding with Rory Argent – 22 year old start-up millionaire

*tap tap tap tap* “<a href=http://www.jontysworld br /><br You see Jonty, that little line you typed out may look like gibberish but you’ve just made your very own website, I made my first website at 11 – now I’m married to a model and have a football pitch in my backgarden!

THURSDAY – Kickboxing with Ken Kenshaw – UFC Heavyweight

“OK Jonty, now imagine the palm of my hand is that kid you hate most at school, now leap into the air and kick as hard as you caOOOF! What a hit!!”  Jonty shot a look of subtle malice at his mother, who smiled back with pride.



FRIDAY –  ???????

Verity was in a mad panic, she had arranged for today’s activity to be an art session with Damien Hirst, but the mad kook had a last minute function to attend (some charity nonsense, what rubbish, Verity grumbled).

Leaving her at a loss as to what she’d have Jonty do, sensing an opportunity for a rare moment of solace – Jonty piped up “mother I’ve got a good idea, why don’t we enjoy a nice game of snakes and ladders??”

Verity’s eyes lit up “yes, that’s perfect! Give me one second”.

Verity returned, not with the boardgame Jonty expected, rather with news that she’d secured the services of Dimitry Olshakev – Russia’s toughest ever snakes and ladders master. Verity beamed, Jonty groaned.


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